Welcome to Fibro-Haze Humor Page #2

  • If you are looking for the Interactive Fibromyalgia Survey, you are only one click away! Please check it out!!

    UPDATE: December 2, 1998 -- To Date, I have received 2, 200+ Survey Responses from 14 Countries, including Australia, Belgium, Canada, Germany, Israel, Netherlands, New Zealand, Philippines, Spain, South Africa, Sweden, Switzerland, United Kingdom, and the United States!

    I have heard from 2 publishers. They have shown great interest in publishing my book! I am striving for completion by late winter 1998. I want to thank you all for your support and encouragement!



    Please know that I receive, make hard copies, and plan to use your story ~ That is unless I "forget" one! Can you imagine someone with Fibromyalgia forgetting?? {Smile}


    I plan to include some humorous stories in my book, and submission of your story serves as right to publish! These stories will be used for entertainment, including my own wacky stories!



    And Remember, there are Angels Among Us. (A song so well sung by the country music group Alabama)

  • This lady was in a restaurant with a friend. She noticed a large clock over her friend's shoulder, and wanted to say something about the time. However, she could not remember the 'word' TIME. She began to point to the object on the wall, and then to her wrist, not uttering a word. Before she knew it, she and her friend were involved in a game of 'charades'! By the time, all of the objects in question were identified, she couldn't remember what she had intended to tell her friend. She did mention that the waiter had watched from a distance, finding their game amusing! (This is such a funny story!)

    This lady was just diagnosed with Fibromyalgia Syndrome and was unaware of the effects on her memory until Thanksgiving. Her cousin was having Thanksgiving dinner with another relative who was visiting from North Carolina, and their 93 year old mother.  Since she liked to take pictures of the family to share at Reunions, she arranged to take pictures at her cousin's house after they had eaten.   So, she drove the 35 miles to her cousin's home.  She had visited her cousin at least a dozen times, and was familiar with her house.  She drove down the street, turning into the driveway where 3 cars were parked.  Her cousin had told her that she had been working on the house! She noticed that the driveway had been widened.  She got all her gear from the car and headed toward the door.  The windows at the front of the house looked different and she was going to comment on how good they looked when she greeted her cousin.  She was about to ring the doorbell when the door opened, and to her surprise, an Oriental gentleman asked her if he could help her.  Suddenly, she realized that she was at the wrong house!  Had she not known that her cousin's boyfriend is NOT Oriental, it could have taken her longer to come out of the Fibro-Haze! (She told me this is the first time she was sure this event was Fibro-Haze, and not just her normal inattentiveness which caused her to be confused. IF WE HAVE NOTHING ELSE, WE HAVE OUR HUMOR!!)

    This lady told me that she was unable to go out for the usual New Year's festivities, so she and her husband watched the television from their bedroom. The next morning she apologized to her husband for falling asleep, and missing all the festivities! He thought she was kidding!! He told her that not only did she watch it all with him, but carried on a conversation through the whole event! (This one is just so funny... perhaps because I relate to it so well!!)

    This lady had just finished teaching a journalism class, about 25 miles from home. Afterwards she realized her Jeep's gas tank was empty! As soon as she pulled into the parking lot of a Circle K, she could not remember where the gas tank was located. She walked around, and around the jeep, until she was in a total sweat from frustration! She noticed a woman in a jeep, "noticing" her as she went around the jeep again! Quick thinking saved her pride! She told the woman she had borrowed the jeep from a friend, and had no idea where the gas tank was located! The nice woman quickly showed her. However, she was so upset at this point, she couldn't remember how to pump the gas. A man pumping gas next to her, noticed her having trouble, and showed her how to use the pump. By now, she is totally wiped out from the whole 'gas experience'! She anxiously paid for gas, and left as quickly as she could! Unfortunately, the gas cap stayed back at the Circle K, and she was not about to go back for it!! (What a wonderful story!)

    This lady was leaving her home to do some errands. She stopped her car at the bottom of the drive-way which was inclined a small amount! While standing at the mail box, her car began to roll down the incline, and right passed her! Now, vision this... she is running behind the car shouting, "Stop Car!", "Stop Car!" (she tells me as if the car would obey a command, like a family pet.)!! The car finally did stop, but not until it hit a large tree!! (I am sorry about the car, but what a wonderfully funny story to share!)

    This lady lives near the coast. She was doing errands when she was overcome by a great 'haze'. The next thing she remembers is being in the 'Ferries Only' Lane! Still, she didn't remember where she was supposed to be going, but KNEW she DIDN'T NEED A BOAT TO GET THERE!! There was no way for her to turn around. When she was the next in line at the Ferries Booth, she really experienced an anxiety attack. She begged the attendant to let her do a U-Turn. He did, and she made her way safely back home! (What a Funny Story!!)

    You ARE reading the humor pages!! Most entries are strictly funny, however, this was so touching, that I thought you would like to read it... this lady writes... "You know, ~Donna, I was reading your Fibro-Haze Humor Pages, and giggling. I was going to write about something which happened to me, but by the time I got to the e-mail, I had forgotten what it was! Oh, now I remember! I am on an 'Leave' from work. Two years ago at work I was doing some maintenance on a sand-blast chamber. It was a little high off the ground, so I used a stool, to crawl up in there. By the time I was finished, I went to step out of the chamber, forgetting to use the stool! Of course, you can imagine my dismay as I hit the floor. I stepped on nothing but air!! I hit the cement floor hard, and I did hurt my self!! Pride helped as I made my way to the door to leave the area, knowing I needed medical attention!! However, I pushed and pushed on the door, and could not even get to the medical area of the building since the door wouldn't open... Oh yeah, If the Door won't open while PUSHING it, PULLING it will probably work! DUH!!!" - - At the end of her humor submission ....... She continued... "I am 39 years old. I started having symptoms of Fibromyalgia at the age 28. I just now found a doctor that is in the process of diagnosis. FINALLY, I HAVE FOUND A DOCTOR THAT IS LOOKING AT ALL OF THE SYMPTOMS AS A " WHOLE", INSTEAD OF SINGLE ISSUES!! I knew there was something wrong, and I knew it probably was all connected in some way. Now, by the Grace of God, I finally found all of this is NOT in my head!! Oh damn, I'm getting teary-eyed! The Internet has been a wonderful friend to me." (This story touched me... I thought it would touch you too!)

    This lady has a terrible time finding 'comfy' shoes!! When she does, she purchases several pairs, then takes the old pair to throw into the closet, so she may use them while gardening! A pair means TWO... right? Yes, however it does not mean one right & one left. You can imagine her embarrassment (even though no one ever saw her in the gardening shoes), when she discovered she had been wearing TWO LEFT SHOES while working outdoors!! (What a great story!)

    This lady drove over one hour to attend a support meeting. As she pulled her car into the parking lot, she did not see anyone else!! Using her car phone, she phoned a lady whom never misses a meeting. Unfortunately, she finds out she is one week early, however, she was glad the meeting was with others having Fibromyalgia! They would certainly understand!! (Wonderful!!)

    This lady says it is as if she became terribly accident prone since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, however, it seems she is in great company!! It seems she was at work, sitting at her desk as she has done daily!! But, this day was destined to be different! One minute she was in the chair, and the next minute she was on the floor. She said it was as if she lost her balance (while sitting)!! (Funny!)

    This lady gets ready to do errands, gets into her car, only to drive around the block several times! She can't remember where she should be going, so she goes back home! She also wonders what her neighbors think!! (Great!)

    This lady glanced down while she was doing her dishes to observe her two year old daughter, holding the yellow family cat around the neck with a tight grip. The two year old had a face cloth, and was roughly trying to wash the cat's face! The lady laughed, saying if her two year old were using sandpaper, the cat's face would have been GONE! She then also said she gained a different perception of washing her child's face! (What a great and funny story!)

    This lady did not mean for this to be sent in as 'humor', but while reading her survey answers, I found this sentence to be so funny! It caught me so off guard, that I just started laughing! She speaks of how her life has changed, and she can no longer do the things she once did, they saying, if you want to sum it up, "SUPERWOMAN HAS LEFT THE BODY"! (I just thought this was so funny, and knew others could relate it also!)

    This lady says one of her first indications of health changes was when she and her husband rode their bikes to their friends house. She remembers her legs really burning, but kept riding. When they arrived, she just fell to the ground. She said her legs just collasped, and her bike landed on top of her. She told me it reminded her of the little guy riding the bike on the show, 'Laugh In'! (Funny Story!)

    This lady, her husband, and brother went to a resort in the Pocono's for skiing. She doesn't ski, but does different things while they enjoy the slopes. She was in the hotel room, and decided to phone her mother, but couldn't without leaving a phone deposit at the front desk. She grabbed her key (which is really a card), and repeated the room number as she left for the front desk. She got to the front desk with no complications! However, making her way back was another story! She described the hotel as 'square', not a labyrinth! She wandered around in tears for 1 and one half hours, too embarrassed to tell anyone she was lost! She said she was "confustigated" (saying this is her special word for confused)! She saw a room which looked like their's and decided to try the card key. She did, and nothing happened, except this red light began to blink alerting her that she had tried to open the wrong door! She figured out a plan, to go back to the front desk, telling them her card key was not working properly. By the way, she was in a total panic! The employee checked the card key, saying that it seems to be working fine, but gave her a new one! Nonetheless, he gave her no other useful information, (like the room number) so she tried to retrace her steps, and wound up at the same door! As she was about to try the new card key, she realized she had been trying to slide it through backwards! She had really been at the right door all along! She opened the door, threw herself on the bed, and cried herself to sleep! The adventure had traumatized her, but can now laugh about it! (What a GREAT story!)

    This lady took her children to school, and on this particular day, she was having a little trouble getting it together. She turned the wrong way on the highway, and was almost out of town (headed toward Wal-Mart) when her 12 year old son pointed out that she had forgotten to drop them off at school! Trying to regain some credibility, she told them that she had errands to run, and had just missed the school turn. Her son (5 at the time) told the other child, "Mom's, dingy button is stuck again!". After two more wrong turns, they had finally made it to school. As the children were getting out of the car, the youngest son said, "Don't get lost going home, mom!".(What a great story!)

    This lady says her bathtub and shower are next to the toilet. Every morning she takes the towel and tosses it on the seat for convenience! However, this morning she scored 2 points, because the toilet seat was UP, instead of down!(What a funny story! Ha!)

    This lady went grocery shopping! After she was finished, she placed the groceries in the trunk, then got in the car and waited... and waited! She finally realized that she was shopping alone! So, she casually gets out of the passenger side, walking around the car to get in on the driver's side! She admits attracting some interesting looks from others! (What a wonderful story!)

    SERIOUS WARNING - FIBROMYALGIA SUFFERERS SHOULD NOT DO CARTWHEELS!!!! One summer evening, this lady, her husband, and children were in the backyard enjoying themselves. The kids were doing all kinds of somersaults and flips. Her son asked her how to do a cartwheel. She tried to explain how, when he asked her to show him. She just laughed telling him she was too old! She said she never could do one very well. But, he persisted, begging and pleading until....yes, she decided to show him! As she was finishing the cartwheel, she heard a loud pop! She regained her balance......that's when the pain shot through her like lightning! She had pulled a hamstring! Her husband and kids came rushing over to help her into the house. She was determined she was not going to feel more foolish by going to the emergency room, applying heat and cold to no avail. After hours of suffering, she finally relented and asked her husband to take her to the ER. After being checked in, a doctor, who had the reputation of being very somber and serious came into the little curtained area asking her how she hurt her leg. After telling him, he burst into uncontrollable laughter! He left the curtained area. The lady heard some whispering and more laughter. They wheeled her to x-ray where she met more laughing people! Every time the doctor, checked on her, he broke into fits of laughter! They finally gave her some crutches, pain medication, and sent her home. No, it's not over yet......... A few weeks later, the insurance company called to inform her they couldn't pay the claim. When she asked why, they told her she needed to turn it over to the Auto insurance. She tried to explain that she was not in an auto accident (apparantly the ER crew marked the wrong box as they were laughing). So, of course, the insurance rep asks her how she hurt her leg, and you know the rest of that. This claim was handed over to 4 more insurance reps, before it was finally paid! It wasn't funny at the time, but she can laugh about it now! The best part is, it's the best cartwheel she ever did!!!!!!(What a great story.... yes, I am laughing!! But it's a good laugh!!)

    PLEASE keep these great stories coming...

    I have been receiving a great deal of mail, but I am trying my best to get your story added!!

    If you like these pages, send me a note!

  • Donna Heart's Fibromyalgia Home Page!

  • To read the article about my book project, and other publicity information, check this out!!

  • Heart to Heart Newsletter #1
    Newsletter #1

  • Heart to Heart Newsletter #2
    Newsletter #2 & Latest Update on my Book Project

  • Fibro-Haze Page #1
    This is too funny to miss!! Find great Fibro Stories Here!!

  • You are on Fibro-Haze Humor Page #2

  • More Fibro-Haze Humor #3

  • More Fibro-Haze Humor #4
    And even more laughter...

  • Fibro-Haze Page #5
    You can find some more laughter here!!

  • More Fibro-Haze Humor #6
    And even more laughter...

  • More Fibro-Haze Humor #7
    And even more laughter...

  • Teen Fibromyalgia Page
    Please check out Crystal's Home Page!! She is trying to form a "Circle of Friends" for support!

  • If you are a teen or know of one with Fibromyalgia, please tell them about Crystal's Teen Survey!!!

  • Fibromyalgia, what a pain in the...
    Heart!! A pain the heart... this is what Fibromyalgia looks like to me! Check this out for a 'smile'.

  • Recipe Exchange!
    If you have a great & simple recipe to share, please send it to me and I'll put it on my page! You may see one you want to use!

  • FibroWorld ~ A great resource for useful information!!

    Something to think about... "If you want something, which you did not have previously, and decide to try to get it, but are unsuccessful... have you lost or gained anything?" ~Donna Heart
    Contact me via e-mail....

    ~Donna Heart


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